Morino Ibiki: Unscarable?
by Angels-Gift
Summary: Summary: The Rookie Nine, Team Gai, ANBU, Jonin and proctors are all curious. What is Morino Ibiki afraid of? Or is he just unscareable?


Morino Ibiki: Unscareable?

by Angels-Gift

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Summary: The Rookie Nine, Team Gai, ANBU, Jonin and proctors are all curious. What is Morino Ibiki afraid of? Or is he just unscareable?

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**I did this at the last minute before my vacation. It's inspired by ilovecrystal's fic, To Scare Morino Ibiki. Random. Look at my other fic, Of Birds and Bugs for an explanation for some things. **

**This is also a story for the amusement of my friend Anna. Hopefully, you won't kill me and just laugh after you read this. **

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Anko growled loudly in frustration, about ready to tear her hair out as she tried to answer the one question that buzzed in her mind constantly. The one little question that bugged her to no end and would kill to get the answer. 

What was Morino Ibiki afraid of?

Was the answer that hard to find out?

Apparently so, because she had tried everything. And when she said everything, she ment everything.

The guy wasn't afraid of bugs, that much was certain when she released all of Aburame Shino's bugs into his office while he was in it. He just blinked and returned to his paperwork, calling her in and telling her that once she was done with her prank, she'd better collect them all back before the Aburame went demonic. She didn't listen and it was only thanks to Tsubasa Sohlum that the Aburame didn't suck all the chakra out of her with his bugs.

He wasn't afraid of heights either. Kidnapping him in the dead of the night while he was dead drunk was harder than she thought. Especially since the guy seemed to weigh the same as one of the full grown adults of the Akimichi Clan. Tieing him in ropes and leaving him dangling off a cliff was easier, but difficult to make sure he didn't drop to his death. When the guy woke up, he blinked and said, 'Anko, when you're done dangling me off a cliff, kindly let me go so I can get some asprin. I have a headache the size of the Land of the Wind.'

Ibiki wasn't terrified of water either. That much was certain when she had Choji ram him into a very deep, cold lake. He surfaced a minute later and walked out, looking a lot like a wet bear. He glared at all of them before pushing Anko and Choji in, eating Choji's bag of chips in front of his face while Choji tried to swim from the center of the large lake to shore, forgetting entirely he was a shinobi and could walk on water.

Anko had figured out from Ino and Sakura that some people were afraid of cameras. So, she spent one full week chasing after Ibiki with a camera while he ignored her completely. On the seventh and last day, he turned to her and said, 'If you want to be my new fanclub member, Anko, I suggest stalking me quietly and without a camera that has the flash on.'

Fear of spiders were definetly out as well. She managed to catch a good hundred of them from the Forest of Death and Naruto's appartment and put them in Ibiki's. He came to work that day with cobwebs in his hair and merely stated, 'The spiders got into my pillow. I delt with them.' He showed them his show, which had a good half of the spiders she worked hard in catching. 'I fed the other half to Yuri's vulture friend.'

The dude wasn't afraid of snakes either. Not even Yuri's dangerous Albino Boa Cobras, which she informed held a poison that killed a person cruely, painfully and in less than a minute. They were from the Forest of Chaos, the forest surrounding the Land of the Wings and Yuri's favorite pets. She loaned two of them and put them in his office. The guy came up to Anko later, perfectly calm, saying, 'Do you know where Yuri is? I want to return her pets to her.'

'Dude, aren't you scared?' shouted Naruto, one of the Rookie Nine, Team Gai and Jonin and proctors who planning the next Chunin Exam (The 12 were well past Chunin by then).

Ibiki shook his head. 'I have reason to. These two could kill me in an instant,' he said, motioning to the first one wrapped around his neck, the other around his left arm, 'But they don't seem hungry anymore since they ate all the rats in my office.'

Anko ruled out afraid of closed spaces as one too. She locked him in a small closet before she discovered later that Ibiki blasted the door off its hinges and walked right to his office with a normal, bored expression on his face.

Black cats. . . the dark. . . sunlight. . . blood. . . people. . . girls. . .boys for god's sake and none of them made a chip into his attitude! Hell, she even dressed Gai and Lee in clown outfits and had them follow him around the entire day! Neji and Tenten seemed, that very moment that they saw the two, to denouce the two as every a teammate and sensei, claiming to have never known them. Not that she could blame them. Ibiki stared at the two and said, 'So you've finally pursued yor life's dream, eh Gai? And your student along with you?'

"WHAT IS HE AFRAID OF?!?!" she shouted out suddenly, clutching her head.

The exam proctors, ANBU, jonin, Rookie Nine and Team Gai looked at her like she went mad. Which she appeared to be right now. "Anko-san, what's wrong?" asked Setsuna, one of the newly entered Tsubasa's.

Anko looked at them all, anime style waterfalls running down her face. "I've tried everything! EVERYTHING!" she shouted loudly, causing everyone to jump up. "AND I STILL can't find out what Ibiki's afraid of!"

"Ibiki-san's afraid of?" asked Sohlum, blinking innocently. Strangely, Sala, Sohlum's 'sister' of sorts, was not there. "Why do you want to know?"

"The guy's gotta have something he's afraid of," shouted Anko, waving her hands wildly. "Every human does! And he's human! Sort of. . ."

"Personally, I don't think the guy is afraid on anything or human. You see his head? Man, the guy can handle torture," commented Kiba.

"He's still human, idiot," shouted Sin-Lin, glaring at the Inuzuka.

"But the guy doesn't seem to be afraid of anything," said Naruto.

Sasuke scoffed. "Dobe. He doesn't seem to, but he's still got something he's afraid of. Like Anko said, everyone has something they're afraid of."

"But they don't if they're not human!" shouted Kiba.

"Anyway, what's the guy afraid of then? You can rule out killing, torture, the dark, water and blood because a ninja has to see them every time they go on a mission," said Neji.

This lead to a whole bunch of shouts, screams and arguments. I can't really tell you everything that's going on because it's all so confusing, and the rating of this fiction makes it so I can't write half of the stuff they say. 'Wait, he might be afraid of bedding a-' was the loudest voice in the room but stopped by an equally loud one. 'YOU IDIOT!' Followed by a, 'YOU PERV!'. Most pronounced was, 'NARUTO, YOU IDIOT!'

In the middle of it all, everyone missed the disappearance of a certain long haired, innocent looking girl. "Ano, excuse me, mina-san," said a voice from the doorway.

Everyone turned to see Sohlum at the open door, seeming to be clutching something larger hidden outside with both hands. Sohlum looked beside her to the thing she was clutching and motioned inside. The thing moved into the room, looking at everyone with a raised eyebrow. Sohlum removed her previous grip on his sleeve.

"IBIKI?" the collected group shouted.

Standing there in his almost amusement was Morino Ibiki, looking at them with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms. "You all were wondering something about Ibiki-san and eventually fighting about it, so I went to him to ask him about it. But I forgot what you were wondering about, so I lead him here," explained Sohlum, smiling proudly.

"So why am I here?" asked Ibiki, looking at them for an explanation.

"We were just wondering. . .well. . . .wondering," started Iruka before stopping, unable to finish the sentence under the man's stare.

"Well. . .wonder what. . . .what you," Asuma stopped as well, unable to handle the torturer's stare much longer.

"They were wondering what you were afraid of," said Kakashi calmly, flipping a page in his perverted book.

Ibiki rose an eyebrow. "What I was afraid of?"

Kakashi nodded, looking up calmly. "Well, really Anko. The others got into other arguments trying to figure out if you were human or not."

The torturer sighed, shaking his head. "You all really want to know?" he asked, looking at them warily. They nodded. "You should have asked politely like her," he said, ruffling Sohlum's head, who smiled.

"Then what is it?" asked Gai.

"Follow me," he said, walking out the door. Sohlum skipped after him, smiling. The group exchaged looks before following also. What was it?

A troll?

A demon?

A mutated freak?

The picture of Lee gone so drunk he ran through Konoha in his underwear last Christmas?

Gai's spandex training suit?

What?

As their train of thoughts continued, they stopped suddenly, snapping them out of it. Suprisingly, they found themselves in the ANBU Torture and Interrogation building, Ibiki's office to be precise. "Have a seat," he said, motioning to the various spots in his office. It wasn't huge, was able to fit all of them.

"So. . .What is it?" asked Anko, bursting with anticipation.

Ibiki checked his watch, looking strangely calm. "You're lucky you found me at this time. Any later, you might not have found out."

He moved up from his chair to pace slowly behind his desk, a look of calm patience on his face. "Just wait half minute or so, you'll find out."

The ticking of the clock on the wall suddenly became louder as silence fell into the room. Nothing else could be heard besides the occational panting Anko gave, staring at the clock with an insane gleam in her eyes. If you strained your ears, you could also hear Sohlum, licking the lollypop in her hand given to her by Anko, rewarding her for her brilliance.

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

Tick. . . .Tick. . . .

A final Tick. . . .

A knock sounded in the room as Ibiki stopped his pacing to move toward the door. Every move me made seemed to be in slow motion.

One. . .

Two. . .

Three. . .

Four. . .

Five steps and Ibiki placed his hand on the door. "Prepare yourselves," he said, turning toward the group. "My worst fear is worse than all of you can imagine. And can tramitize you for life if not properly warned. Be cautious because once I open this door, your lives could be in stake."

They looked at Ibiki stonely. Their eyes were serious, curious and held a bit of fear in them, all prepared for what Ibiki's worst fear.

"We're ready," said Shikamaru, not sounding at all like himself.

Ibiki nodded gravely. "You have been warned."

The tension couldn't even be cut through by a knife as Ibiki twisted the knob.

The door creaked open to reveal the last thing they all expected.

In the doorway, standing there perfectly composed, dense to what was happening with the Konoha and Tsubasa nin in the office, was Tsubasa Sala, smiling widely and innocently.

"Sala? What he's afraid of is Sala? What's so scary about her?" asked Genma, looking at the fearsome looking ANBU with dumbfound eyes.

"IIIIIIIBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-SSSSSSEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" greeted Sala loudly, pouncing onto the Morino. "Ibi-sensei, Ibi-sensei, Ibi-sensei!"

No one ever questioned what Ibiki was afraid of or why he was afraid of Sala ever again.

Why?

Because Ibiki's fear is worse than death itself.

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End file.
